I got laid...

... OFF! Sheesh! What were YOU thinking?!?

Yep, your MadCow is headed to the poorbarn or possibly on to greener-pastures! -- OK OK, I'll stop with cute and funny-to-me cliches but only because I may have to hit you up for cash someday!

Answers to some questions:

1. APS Healthcare, my work-home for the last 4 years was "re-invested in" by a company no one has ever heard of but that was excited to work with us and make us better. They didn't want to call this new relationship a "merger" and even have it recorded on a company-wide conference call, that there will not be any lay-offs. I didn't believe them, but thought no way they're touching account management--the presumed face of the company to the clients. Well apparently they didn't care for my face too much!

2. Jon is handling the news much better now that he's recovered from having his stomach pumped, which he had because he swallowed all the lose change we've been saving for 10 years (yes, it's been that long!) so I couldn't get "my grubby little hands on it all!" AND then had the audacity to tell the doctor that he'd rather have his stomach pumped then wait for it all to pass! What he doesn't know is that now I'm seriously thinking of dumping him and seducing his brother...

3. I will need a new cell phone and, for a while at least, will have to fight Jon for computer time... Women of Nerds Everywhere, do you have any suggestions? Man, the least APS could have done was let me keep the laptop! Effers. Oh and at press time, I still have not convinced the only 30 year old male on the planet without one, to get a FUCKING CELL PHONE! (feel free to bombard xxxx@yahoo.com with reasons he should... I will consider it better than donating money to the Save MadCow from Starvation Fund, at least only if it works!

4. For those of you wondering... I WAS NOT LAID OFF BECAUSE I WORKED FROM HOME AND WOULD OCCASIONALLY TAKE NAPS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY!!

5. After packing-up, downloading illegal contraband, and leaving that Silver Spring, MD office for the last time yesterday at 5:30pm (see? I go er--went to the office sometimes!) I am now looking forward to a long week of rest and relaxation in Florida. Hopefully my dad won't pester me for the money I owe him for our trip to Italy, still on for September, nor my brother try to drag me up to Disney to spend the money I owe my dad... Though dad is paying for the flight down tomorrow, so incase anyone was worried, I AM STILL SPOILED! Truth is, at the moment they know better and I'll be thinking of all you working stiffs (especially my stay-at-home moms, who probably could use a break more than me) while lazying around the pool, drinking coronas and watching TV! And for those still not believing #4, I also did NOT drink alcohol while working from home so my time will be spent differently than what you've spent the last 4 years wondering!

6. At least for the next week, if you'd like to contact me, you may do so by email or calling my dad at 561-555-CASH. I can call you back on his dime-- spread the spoiling so to speak. You can also send checks or money orders and if you trust me, which most of you have at one time or another --even with your children, you may also send your credit card numbers to
MadCow Unemployment

XXXX
Falls Church, VA 22044
Home: XXXXXX


Much love to all and even more to those that send CASH! Please let me know what you've been up to and if you have any odd jobs you'd like me to do. As long as the pay is good and it doesn't interfere with my Oprah watching and bon bon eating, you'll be helping me stay on my feet.

Love,
Your MadCow