Bleeding Orange

A few weeks ago, I sat through what would be my first paid day for The Orange Apron Hardware Store (TOAHS). Reluctant interest best describes what I was feeling. Since becoming unemployed, I have admittedly lived it up -- Italy, Florida, Seattle, lounging around, researching new job opportunities, "cleaning" -- and while the lovely state of Maryland (thanks to all my friends who live there!) was still paying me unemployment, the boyfriend wanted me to "do something." (Honestly, he let me lounge around a HELL of a LOT LONGER than I would have let him! ssshhhh!)

So, why TOAHS? Its a question I used to be able to answer, but now that original answer seems so dumb because I have no earthly idea why I'm here. Jon, his sister, and brother all at one time in the past have "bled orange" and while only 2 of the 3 can say it wasn't the worst experience ever, I figured my chances were high of at least making do, of some familiarity and at the very least, having an understand ear to bitch to. So there I was the first day, trying to think positive of the situation, a whole hour early!! (obviously any positive thoughts I had deflated like a big orange balloon!) Those who know me best know how terribly against my nature it is to get up early for anything let alone a job orientation on a Saturday morning. Imagine my "I could have slept another hour" expletives when I learned orientation started at 9am instead of 8. (I know... waaah) Already I'm not impressed and little has really changed since.

I am and in some ways always will be, in the deep crowded corners of my own warped mind, an elitist. When it comes to most jobs, I think I am better than just about everyone else, regardless of how long they may have been doing said job. Having admitted this, it must be said that while I think I'm better than everybody in certain jobs, I am not above doing any kind of job. I've waitressed, schlepped burgers, sweated in front of an industrial dishwasher and loved it, and picked up dog crap! None of these jobs are "any better" than the one I'm doing at TOAHA but at least they are somewhat organized, their processes make sense. At least their customers do not get put on hold, disconnected, or bounced around to various departments before someone, if they are lucky, actually wants to answer the phone and do their job!. And forget about asking for a direct extension or voicemail because they do not even exist here. All calls, well actually only the ones the system deems worth enough to hold onto and not mysteriously drop into phone-tree abyss, end up at moi. Poor bastards! I'm one of the few well intentioned folks, yet I know the least and yet here I am responsible for making sure this customer, who by now is already so irate and irritated at having been on the phone for an hour trying to get a question about a hardware doohickey answered, is heard, helped, and kept. Naturally, hardware doohickeys are not my area of expertise, but I've found its usually not the caller's either so literally, its the blind leading the blind here. And naturally, all I have to work with to help this poor soul (and myself) is a store full of "busy" associates who can't or won't answer my 5Th page and an antiquated DOS based system that may as well be written in Japanese. Despite all this, somehow TOAHS was $100K above the books last week so customers are buying... either that or waiting on the phone for hours for help is still a better use of their time than sitting in traffic to get to the Blue Smock Hardware Store!

So I guess for the time being, I bleed orange... albeit begrudgingly.