I Got...

A REAL JOB!!!

HA! I bet some of you thought I was going to say ENGAGED! Nope, better! ;)

I got the very job I wanted! Can you believe it?!? I still cannot which is why it has taken me so long to really share the news. You are reading the blog of the new full-time, decently paid and benefited, Hospice Social Worker for Vitas Innovative Hospice Care!! (www.vitas.com) I know I know many of you have voiced your concerns over my sensitivity and seemingly innate inability to say good bye to even a piece of chewed bubble gum (don't ask) and I appreciate and will need your concern in the months to come, but I feel compelled to embrace even my own doubts and fears and move forward in this direction. I have a lot to offer families in crisis and I'd much rather have a job that is challenging, tough and yet rewarding then spend the rest of my days tied to a desk, unfulfilled, and depressed. My biggest concern these days is actually not the tears I will shed (lets be realistic here! I cry at those old McDonald's commercials where the person with down syndrome is so proud to have a job!) but being --deep breath -- ORGANIZED!! Paperwork city here I come!

So how it all happened...
I found Vitas' website via www.volunteermatch.org and emailed the Volunteer Manager, Mary Ellen in late Feb that I was a Master's level social worker who wanted to break into the field and would like to discuss some volunteer opportunities. She called the next day and left a 5 minute message about how she would love to talk to me not only about volunteering but about the possibility of a job (which she was able to leave b/c YES! my answering machine no longer has 32 saved messages! For explanation of that, see above about inability to say good bye) Jon was pretty excited while I was interested but cautious. I had already received a few phone calls about hospice and other jobs, and other than TOAHS nothing really panned out. I called back and left a message, but then started the part-time gig and came down with the flu. I hadn't heard back from Mary Ellen despite the messages and emails I had sent. See? I thought, just another false alarm, but Jon encouraged me to call back one more time. Turns out, she was away for a week and was still very interested in meeting me. We set up a volunteer interview for March 6th.

Volunteer Interview…
I advise those who I’ve worked with in the past to sit down. I arrived 15 minutes EARLY… at 8: 15am! Mary Ellen wasn’t there yet but I made myself at home, looking at brochures and watching other employees walk in to start their day. All were very kind.

When Mary Ellen arrived, I felt an instant connection and she invited me to follow her to her office. On our way she introduced me to everyone we saw, Lynn, Leslie, Jim. Lynn is an older woman with long graying hair she wears swept up in a barrette. I felt a pang of intimidation. Leslie is a short and spunky woman from New Jersey who sang along with her country station. I liked her instantly of course. Jim is a nerdy unassuming man who praised my resume.

Mary Ellen and I discussed volunteering opportunities, reviewed my application, resume and current continuing education courses. She understood it was my ultimate goal to break into the Hospice field and we sat down with Lynn, who I learned is a Patient Care Administrator and a Nurse. She too praised my resume and was grateful I had come to volunteer. Mary Ellen asked about the social work position and she said that they had offered the position to someone and were waiting to hear back. Bummer, but I thought to myself, “I’m here now, finally getting this journey started.” So I hung around till about noon watching videos about hospice and the company and taking tests on HIPPA and blood born pathogens. I set up my first day of volunteering at the office for the following Thursday, March 13th.

“No, it’s good… very good!”
My first day of volunteering started out as normal as any day. I had my Starbucks coffee and was excited to be in the environment even it just meant I was putting together new patient packets. Walking into the office again I felt at home and greeted everyone. Mary Ellen was on the phone so I just put my stuff in her office and headed on down to the collating room. I’m trying to learn how all the paperwork is organized as there is a lot of it when Mary Ellen comes in to say that Lynn would like to talk to me in about 30 minutes. Because I already have a rapport with her is say, “A-oh, am I in trouble already?” and she slyly says, “No, it’s good… very good!” Being an optimist, my first instinct is to think the best, but life has handed me a few sucker-punches over the years and so I’ve learned to temper that instinct some and not get too excited. They know my ultimate goal, they need a social worker, and have expressed how impressed they have been with me and my resume (which in the work-world, doesn’t happen nearly enough) Then again, they also know I do not have a clinical license even though I am pursuing it. Really, I was not about to assume what could be so “good” about this meeting.

Mary Ellen joins me and Lynn and I am ready with pen and paper thinking at the very least they have a project for me. Lynn begins by saying “First things first, lets get you an employee application to fill out. Oh and what salary would you like to make?” Maybe she thought Mary Ellen told me what was going to happen, but I was in complete shock. I said, “Um, WHAT?! I don’t even know what the range is for this position! I’m a bit shocked here.” Luckily Mary Ellen jumps in and says the one thing I’ve been hoping to hear from any hospice organization I involved myself with, “We love your resume, your background, and your willingness to learn. We realize this will be a growth experience for you and we want to go on this journey with you.” WOW!

“And the license part?”

“We’ll support you in earning it.” “Lets get you started with the paperwork and the next step will be for you to meet with Susan, who really will have the final say and she’ll be in on Monday.”

Ugh, so really this isn’t a done deal, but naturally, I go with it. Lynn and Mary Ellen are very excited and because Jim will be out of the country for a few weeks, they want me to attend orientation the very next day and take my drug test. Everything happened very quickly, I didn’t know what to think. I was still in shock at all the praise my resume received! Those documents hardly ever receive much feedback and it really was the first time I received any. You send it out to possible future employers and never hear a word except an email that basically says, “Don’t contact us; we’ll contact you if you are worthy!”

Waiting…
I had another interview downtown that afternoon and had to decide how I was going to tell TOAHS I needed the very next day off. I already called in way too many times when I had the flu, but hearing “no” was not an option and technically I did not have the job yet and I couldn’t burn a bridge. I decided to do the “right thing” and tell TOAHS my dilemma and negotiated working 4 hours then going to Vitas for orientation. By the end of Friday I was exhausted and still not 100% sure I really did have a job. Even after getting a hug from Lynn before leaving for the weekend, I was not convinced. I still had to meet and win over one other person.

Moment of Truth…
In typical Sharyn fashion, I was running a little late on this Monday morning of all Monday mornings! We never established a definite time and already I’ve learned that the office runs in perpetual crisis mode, though you’d really have to look hard to see it. I called in to speak to Lynn to say that I was on my way, only when she answered the phone, I thought she said “Vitas, this is Fran, how many I help you?” so I, thinking this must be someone I haven’t met yet say, “Hi Fran, this is Sharyn Casapulla, may I speak to Lynn?” to which Lynn says, “This is Lynn.” I was absolutely mortified!! Luckily she is understanding and has a sense of humor and really didn’t seem to mind my gigantic oops. She also eased my stress by saying “Don’t worry; we’ll be here when you get here.” Phew!

Our meeting begins and it is Lynn, me and Susan. I had heard a lot about Susan, all good, all professional, except that she doesn’t give too much away with her facial expressions. I was prepared by everyone else that I may not be able to get a read on what she’s thinking. Well watching her around the office before the meeting, I thought to myself, what is all the fuss about? She was smiling, busy, catching up with co-workers. I did not get a stern feeling from her at all, but I still went in to the meeting thinking she held my future, my dreams, all in her hand.

Lynn begins. “Susan, this is Sharyn Casapulla and we’ve hired her as our new full-time social worker.” Excuse me? That was “hired” as in past tense, right? As in done deal so it doesn’t matter what you think? Wow! What was all the fuss about then? Susan welcomes me to the organization and we start talking about next steps, paperwork I will need to do, people I will need to meet. For the first time since this whole thing began, I really started to get excited that this was really happening. I was really getting the chance to do the very job I wanted to do. Then Lynn asked if I had any questions…

“What is your expectation of me for getting my license?”

“Wait. You don’t have your license?”

Here it comes… the bursting of the bubble! How could the universe be this cruel?! They knew from the beginning I didn’t have my license, that I am pursuing it. They loved me, my resume, my experiences. Did we really just go through all this for nothing? I could tell Lynn was almost sick to think she overlooked this important piece of information and I was prepared to hear the worst. But Susan, who had stepped out of the meeting for a minute, returned and Lynn immediately told Susan that she may have made a huge blunder in not realizing or remembering I did not have my license and Susan says, “Oh well, Virginia does not require it for this position, but its good that you are pursuing it. No need to worry, we can assist you with that.” A couple of “are you sures” and big sighs of relief from me and Lynn later, and the deal was sealed. I gots me a job!

My start date is April 1st and while I’m pretty confident this is truly happening, I at first thought I wouldn’t believe it till I actually started, but with that start date, I think I’ll allow myself to only believe it when I get my first pay check!

Bleeding Orange

A few weeks ago, I sat through what would be my first paid day for The Orange Apron Hardware Store (TOAHS). Reluctant interest best describes what I was feeling. Since becoming unemployed, I have admittedly lived it up -- Italy, Florida, Seattle, lounging around, researching new job opportunities, "cleaning" -- and while the lovely state of Maryland (thanks to all my friends who live there!) was still paying me unemployment, the boyfriend wanted me to "do something." (Honestly, he let me lounge around a HELL of a LOT LONGER than I would have let him! ssshhhh!)

So, why TOAHS? Its a question I used to be able to answer, but now that original answer seems so dumb because I have no earthly idea why I'm here. Jon, his sister, and brother all at one time in the past have "bled orange" and while only 2 of the 3 can say it wasn't the worst experience ever, I figured my chances were high of at least making do, of some familiarity and at the very least, having an understand ear to bitch to. So there I was the first day, trying to think positive of the situation, a whole hour early!! (obviously any positive thoughts I had deflated like a big orange balloon!) Those who know me best know how terribly against my nature it is to get up early for anything let alone a job orientation on a Saturday morning. Imagine my "I could have slept another hour" expletives when I learned orientation started at 9am instead of 8. (I know... waaah) Already I'm not impressed and little has really changed since.

I am and in some ways always will be, in the deep crowded corners of my own warped mind, an elitist. When it comes to most jobs, I think I am better than just about everyone else, regardless of how long they may have been doing said job. Having admitted this, it must be said that while I think I'm better than everybody in certain jobs, I am not above doing any kind of job. I've waitressed, schlepped burgers, sweated in front of an industrial dishwasher and loved it, and picked up dog crap! None of these jobs are "any better" than the one I'm doing at TOAHA but at least they are somewhat organized, their processes make sense. At least their customers do not get put on hold, disconnected, or bounced around to various departments before someone, if they are lucky, actually wants to answer the phone and do their job!. And forget about asking for a direct extension or voicemail because they do not even exist here. All calls, well actually only the ones the system deems worth enough to hold onto and not mysteriously drop into phone-tree abyss, end up at moi. Poor bastards! I'm one of the few well intentioned folks, yet I know the least and yet here I am responsible for making sure this customer, who by now is already so irate and irritated at having been on the phone for an hour trying to get a question about a hardware doohickey answered, is heard, helped, and kept. Naturally, hardware doohickeys are not my area of expertise, but I've found its usually not the caller's either so literally, its the blind leading the blind here. And naturally, all I have to work with to help this poor soul (and myself) is a store full of "busy" associates who can't or won't answer my 5Th page and an antiquated DOS based system that may as well be written in Japanese. Despite all this, somehow TOAHS was $100K above the books last week so customers are buying... either that or waiting on the phone for hours for help is still a better use of their time than sitting in traffic to get to the Blue Smock Hardware Store!

So I guess for the time being, I bleed orange... albeit begrudgingly.